Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Jokes (Keep 'em clean)

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Jokes (Keep 'em clean)

    Differences between Grandfathers and Grandmothers

    A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time. Just he and his granddaughter.

    One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out.

    When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather. 'Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?'

    'Oh yes, PaPa' the girl replied, 'and do you know what? We didn't see a single dumb bastard or lousy **** head anywhere we went today!'

    Brings a tear to your eye doesn't it...
    DON'T pimp my ride!!!

    http://www.cardomain.com/ride/723196
    A Proud Canadian
    Jeff

    sigpic

  • #2
    lol A+ :p
    Can You Say Vroom?!

    Comment


    • #3
      Retired Shopper

      After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women -- she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

      Dear Mrs.Samsel,

      Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from our store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

      1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

      2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

      3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

      4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in housewares. Get on it right away.'

      5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

      6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

      7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

      8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

      9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

      10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

      11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

      12.. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

      13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

      14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

      And last, but not least:

      15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'HEY! THERE’S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!
      Lightning Rods repair service:CLICK HERE
      Seller Feedback:CLICK HERE
      1988 H/OCA Advisor
      88 H/O #1 of 4
      88 CSC White/Claret - T-tops
      88 H/O Triple Black
      87 442 Black/Gray - T-tops
      85 442 White/Blue - T-tops
      85 442 White/Blue - T-tops
      85 442 White/Claret - T-tops
      85 442 White/Sage
      84 H/O Aero Commemorative #2199 - Sunroof
      83 H/O #2400 Sand Gray - Sunroof
      83 H/O #1607 Sand Gray - T-tops
      83 H/O #727 Maple
      "Keep them Rockets lit!"

      Comment

      Working...
      X